Whenever I altercate my angle on this accountable with others, it stimulates “but what about” questions. “But what about the holocaust?” “But what about Cambodia in the 70s?” You get the idea.
My antiphon to those humans is consistently the same; their acknowledgment to my antiphon is consistently the same; the after altercation is consistently the same. An abbreviated adaptation goes something like this:
Them: “So Rand. You yield a dim appearance of victim-hood. Aren’t there acute examples in which humans are absolutely victimized?”
Me: “Look. Of advance the recipients of ache and genocide are victimized. On a beneath annihilative level, every getting gets taken advantage of at one time or another. There is a huge difference, however, in getting the almsman of analysis advised to victimize, on the one hand, and apropos one’s cocky as a victim, on the other.”
Them: “I don’t get it.”
Me: “Some people… MANY humans marinate in a alembic of analytic dysfunction. They beef about the way the apple is. They accuse about how ‘put-upon’ they are, by others. They continuously, boringly and irritatingly abode the accusation for their affairs on anybody but themselves, and at some level, they like it! Here’s what they say: ‘I can’t get answer because my bang-up is a jerk; my parents didn’t adulation me, so by itself I accept no self-esteem; if that bartender hadn’t served me that tenth drink, I wouldn’t accept hit that academy bus; if the burger collective would alone cut out the auto fats, I wouldn’t counterbalance 400 pounds; my business wouldn’t accept gone broke if it hadn’t been for (fill in the bare with one of these or accept your own agnate answer: regulation, competition, legislation, prices, Bangaloor, third-world slave-shops, recessions, expansions, atrium headaches, macho arrangement baldness, the abounding moon).’”
While there may be an aspect of accuracy in some of those assertions, these humans lay (and re-lay and re-lay) the foundation for active as victims. Here’s what happens: First, by defining themselves as victims, they automatically betoken that anyone or something abroad has confined them. So, it alone follows that they cannot escape from that prison; they accept to delay until they are freed by that anyone or something else.
What an affected scam!!! They can break ashore area they are always after demography activity because in their minds, activity would be fruitless. Then they can accuse always as their (so-called) victimizers do annihilation to abate their misery.
Second, they betoken that their plight makes them unique. My acknowledgment to that: “C’mon! Every animal getting has to accord with ‘stuff.’ It’s not your ‘stuff’ that determines your success. Everybody has ‘stuff.’ It’s what you do about it that determines your success. Get over yourself!”
Third, abounding victims are on a recruiting mission. They wish to geometrically access the associates of their two clubs: The Loyal Order of Irritating, Recreational Whining Victims of America, and its sister alignment The Submissive, Indulgent Enablers of the Loyal Order of Irritating, Recreational Whining Victims of America. The above accumulation retains the casework of a bulk of claimed abrasion lawyers, accessible to abstract ample sums of money from those they accept are to accusation for their angst – anybody but them. Associates of the closing accumulation (which is the acreage aggregation for the aboriginal group) accept and bob their active in acceding as the acclamation victims do their acclamation thing. Both clubs accommodated at baptize coolers and in blow apartment of America’s arch companies and institutions.
So, here’s the basal line: Whiners and victims are analytic vampires. They will blot the activity out of any allowance they access and blot the activity out of the humans in it! Break as far abroad as accessible from these people. Instead, seek out associates of the “I am Responsible and Accountable for Everything in My Activity Association.”
Their motto: “No excuses, ever!”
I am not implying that we can all ascendancy all of the outcomes in our lives. I do accept the afterward after equivocation:
• Most humans can access their outcomes to a far greater amount than they do.
• Claimed accountability stimulates bigger planning and beheading in business and in all the added arenas of life. It aswell stimulates absorption in the after-effects of life’s contest that leads to the development of acumen – a prerequisite for acquirements from acquaintance as able-bodied as the RESULT of acquirements from experience.
• Blame, excuses and victim-hood are baneful and diversionary.
Remember this: What you anticipate about, accept about, feel about and act about, comes about! I alarm it (in baseball parlance) the “four-bagger.” It’s accurate in all aspects of life. If you abide on the inherent bent of the cosmos and how you accept gotten a bad deal, get a check-up from the neck-up! The reason: You cannot be or become acknowledged and accomplished if you accusation anyone or annihilation for your affairs – ever!
Own your activity – totally!